What do you think of my short story?

Excellent plot and excellent arrangements for the events you plan to have to take place. And unlike what the first commenter said, even though you're fourteen, you shouldn't be put down because of your age. A LOT of people said to me that I can't achieve to be a writer because of my age...psschh 13, man. And you know that you can achieve your dream no matter what. Strive towards what you're pionate to and you'll achieve. I believe in you.